Don't Close Your Eyes

about the author

CRYSTAL is thankful to have finally graduated from the Raffles family in 2009.
She is not so ready to embark on the new phase of her life and she still enjoying bumming around.
If being a slacker is an occupation, she'd be a millionaire(:

shoutouts

affiliates

Ailin
Claire
Charlene
Chern Ping
Crystal Lee
Davina
Enqi
Fadhilah
Fanglin
Fann
FourOhEight '07
Huiwen
Isabel
Jasmine
Jiahui
Jolene
Maryam
Munchin' Mamas
Natalia
Natalia
Peiting
Pingfang
Ruiling
Saniah
Samantha
Serene
Sheena
Sherry
Sipei
Sorna
Theodora
The Red Jewel
Yanqi
Yunting
Zhixian

archives

credits

Design: doughnutcrazy
Icon: morphine_kissed

Update: Thanks for all the concern people! But I'm seriously fine now LOL. Don't know what got into me yesterday. Some emo bug floating around I suppose. I'm now back to your favourite blonde hahaha : DD

--

Usually I make it a point to blog about the interesting/spastic/blonde moments in life (there are far too many lol), because who wants to read about a depressing blog right? After all, entertaining people is my forte according to Sorn and Sherry, who treats me like a clown/entertainment device.

I'm sorry, but life currently sucks right now. I don't think I've ever felt so much pressure in my life thus far. PSLE is such a joke compared to this!

For some reason, my dad decided to break out of his spastic daddy persona for the day and sent me and my brother this thought-provoking e-mail about what we want to do/should do in life. (I bet my brother is just going to delete the email and continue playing whatever computer games he is playing currently -.-)

And I just started crying in front of the computer when I read it. (I'm either heading for a mental breakdown or I'm PMS-ing. I hope it's the latter. Like who does this right?!) Okay, no he didn't mention that I must be a doctor in the future or whatever, but he did strongly recommend medicine (among others) of which I have no interest in, sadly. He also said not to worry if we can't get into NUS because he says he will find the money and send us overseas.

Like omgg, I started tearing at this part because it was just so... I don't know, touching? It wouldn't be easy doing whatever he intends to do for us to get a good education but my dad is still willing to go through such lengths. Plus, I have an emotional range of a teaspoon, so experiencing this whole gamut of emotions right now is rather overwhelming.

I know that we probably can't afford to go overseas without a scholarship or at the very least, only either my brother and I can go. We're talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars per year x 3 years or so. In order to send us both, I don't know how much our family is going to starve.

So now I feel
1. very bad (because before that e-mail my sole ambition in life is to be a bum)
2. very scared (because I don't want to disappoint)
3. pressurised (there's expectations to live up to)

Of course I'm talking about the extremes here. I suppose there's still many other alternatives, but I wouldn't want to think about that yet.

Seriously, if I could do it all over again, perhaps I wouldn't choose the RP. After 4 years of slacking and last minute work, it's kind of hard to change your style from "Aiyar, it's only due tomorrow! I can do it at night! TV TIME!" to "OMG THERE'S ONLY ONE AND THREE QUARTERS YEARS LEFT TO "A"s!"

Sometimes, the best isn't always the best. People just expect so much from you and you don't want to disappoint. When people EXPECT you to do well, it's all the more more pressurising. I suppose I should have been prepared for all these when I entered RG -.- since the only thought in mind then was " WOOHOO NO O LEVELS". But that again, it really depends on said individual I guess! I doubt I thrive very well on pressure.

Okay, I feel so much better now! Meanwhile, I shall try to take things easy and then I'll see why life takes me : D

Such a contemplative post. I never knew I was capable of such deep insights hahahaha

---

" It didn't seem that funny when I said it, but now I find myself quite brilliant xD I totally motivated her to drive hard towards her legal aspirations. She now has a role model to look up to (the main character in the show). Not forgetting, she's already half way there were her pink fonts and what not. Heehee you just have to love that girl. Much love to #4 too, who's ever concerned. Every little thought counts, my dear, you included heehee. See you all tomorrow!"

- Sherry's blog.

AW. What a sweet thing to say. It made me smile like an idiot : D The good thing about RJC is that it made me all the more closer to 408. People I never used to hang out with, I hang out 24/7. (for the exception of Pingfang now?! ): ) People I hardly exchanged a word with (not because we don't like each other, but because we sit so far from each other we never really got to interact), I get super excited whenever I see them! : D

Plus the fact that we even have our own class pullover makes it so much cooler! We're probably the first class in J1 history to do something like that! We should totally have this pullover wearing ceremony or something when all of us get our pullovers. Then we must take a picture together with all of us 408 blondies in our smokin' hot pullovers and make everyone jealous! : D It'll be so cool (for lack of better word) to have a picture like that to remember by in 10 year's time.

Too bad I can't say the same thing for everyone though. Some gets closer, but some are drifting apart. I don't know whether is it you think having a few less friends wouldn't matter much or what. I suppose it's just an impression which I get and am probably wrong (seeing that I'm not really in a right frame of mind right now... ). It's just quite a pity, because we did use to have so much fun. I just miss the good old days, that's all, no malicious intent whatsoever. Or maybe I'm just over reacting and everything will just be like before when we meet. IF we meet. But just know that I miss you guys, yeah?

END OF EMO POST. I am so emo I cannot stand it.

Stay tuned for more blonded moments in my next post!

Just got home from Nat's party and see who I brought home!

Yes, Claire was too lazy to go home so she crashed my place. I would post up videos of us lip synching but... even I think it's too painful to look/listen and that's saying a lot.

Meanwhile... ...

Thinking of Who to Vote?

Still thinking?

...and still thinking?

VOTE FOR CLAIRE LIM FROM MR!

Why should YOU vote for her?

1) because SHE IS WILLING TO SERVE! ( sounds like a maid agency slogan, but never mind we shall ignore that)

2) because SHE IS PASSIONATE! ( actually the picture looks constipated, but again, we shall ignore that)

3) because SHE HAS INTEGRITY (hmmm she looks like she is about to sing an opera for us, but well, we shall ~~forgive her inability to pose for pictures~~ ignore that once again )

4) because even though SHE IS A GUAIKIA IN THE DAY, SHE IS A BADASS AT NIGHT. (you know, she can relate to all kinds of people )

Guaikias in the day! (okay lah, even though technically it's at night)

(Neo's sidekick in Matrix. She chose the blue pill. )

Biker badasses at night! (I went to the toilet for a bit so Claire decided to take the liberty and went solo on this badass rampage)

so to end off...

Take Care, Take Claire ~~Home (like what I did)~~!

THE BLUE RIBBON PROJECT: UNLOCK OUR SECOND POTENTIAL .

PS Anyone else who wants free publicity, feel free to contact me! I charge a minimal fee! : D

Econs as usual, was boring. Hence, Cheryl and I pitted our drawing skills against each other.

We played Pictionary, but pictionary became boring because noone could guess what the hell Cheryl was trying to draw.

catoutofbag

Sandra: Huh, what's that, a carrot? Radish?
Cheryl: NOO. It's a bag! Got ribbon! And it's a bag in the hole! "Let the cat out of the bag"!

Now check this out:

swan

Joanna: Is it a goose? A chicken? A duck? An ostrich??
Cheryl: EH WALAO ITS A SWAN LAH. CAN'T YOU TELL?!

No, Cheryl, we can't. (hahaha I think she suffers from dyslexia or something, because the wings are the wrong way around)

pegnuins

Penguin drawn by cavemen (bottom): Cheryl
Penguin drawn by kids (middle): Me
Penguin drawn by an ex art club member: Sandra

Elephant (it looks like a sphinx, as pointed out by Sandra)

I would have posted "Buddha jump over the wall" but Cheryl refused to let me do so because she's afraid of religious people suing her for uhm. wrong portrayal of the Buddha, since her drawing of the Buddha is abstract art itself. I shall leave it to you imagination.

Cheryl, consider this free publicity for ~~your lack of talent in drawing!~~ council : D

---

Speaking of council, congrats to all the 408 peeps who got in! : D

Am actually quite amused over the fact that everyone thought I was going to be really sad that I didn't get through but yeah, I'm not really affected by it! If you asked Claire and Yuxuan before results were out, I totally had a "I'm cool as a cucumber" attitude (Yes Jasmine, I remember the last time I adopted this attitude, it didn't work out very well HAHAH)

Anyway, before results were out:

Me: I suppose the pictures will play a part in the selection right! Since they flashed your picture so huge on the screen when they make their decisions!

Claire: If a picture could cry, mine would be wailing!!

hahaha okay, I thought that was incredibly funny lol.

---

Was supposed to do Chem but ended up ~~bitching~~ catching up with Fann online and now I am blogging instead. Looks like my plans to sleep early is busted again!

And yes, Fann, you are dearly missed by me. Hope your ego didn't inflate too much when you read this. Wish you were here ):

Meanwhile, the remnants of YX's FBTS, flying like a flag on the fence : D

shorts

I was in a really crappy mood the entire day of today due to several reasons. Almost didn't want to go over for Bfeste later on, but then ended up walking to Rafflesia after school immediately, hoping to be the first so I could get some work done undistracted. I managed to sqeeuze in a bit of work before Jo and the rest came. Mugging regime finally taking off! Woohoo!

After slacking around for the next few hours, we headed to J8 for dinner and had more bfeste + camwhore sessions. Photos will up uploaded once Sherry uploads them! : D

When we got chased out of the playground on the rooftop by the security guards, we decided to call it a night and diperse. Yuxuan, being the nice soul that she is, accompanied me home since I was feeling all depressed today. But hey, going home with me is extremely fun-filled don't you think! : D I know you enjoyed it, no matter what you say. hahaha

But before I proceed any further, let me tell you guys a true story which happened to my friends C and YX while they were going home after bfeste! (Names are changed for fear of incriminating them.)

---

YX and C were heading back to school from J8 to get to the school bus stop which is located at the back of the RJ canteen.

On the way back from J8...

C: Eh, won't it be funny if the gates were locked and we have to climb over?? hahahahah! That would be such an adventure!

YX: omg NO WAY MAN. Can't be, the other time when we had camp, it was still open when we sneaked to ZY's house to bathe at night!

C: HAHA oh well. Looks like the gates aren't locked anyway!

Yup, the front gates weren't locked - but the back gates were.

There were 2 options for the both of them. Option 1: Walk 15 minutes to get to the very bus stop which they intended to go. Option 2: Climb over the fence. (well, there was even a chair readily supplied...)

Of course, option 2 was picked! Since YX was wearing FBTs, she volunterred to go first. After throwing all their bags over to the ground the other side, there was no turning back for them!

YX (long limbs and all) climbed over easily, but when she tried to jump down, her FBTs got caught on the fence. So there she was, not moving an inch, sitting on the fence, tugging at her FBTs which refused to budge.

YX: OMG OMG OMGGGGGG! WTH SHIT! EVERYONE (meaning the buses and the cars and the motorists zooming by) IS STARING!! HELP ME!!!!

(She continues in this vein for the next 5 minutes while C was laughing so hard she couldn't breath, much less help YX during her distress)

YX: !!!!!! HURRY! CUT THE WHOLE THING OFF!

C: (while flumbing with her FBTs and laughing at her plight) huh? Seriously??

YX: I DON'T CARE! JUST CUT THE DAMN THING OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

C: OKOK! I'm cutting, I'm cutting!! (whips out a scissors and SNIPS.)

But because YX was stressing her out so much, she overestimated and a huge chunk of her shorts disappeared.

After YX got down from the fence safe and sound (no limbs lost except her dignity: I mean imagine sitting on the fence while all sorts of public transport zoom pass you, while your partner in crime is there laughing her ass off. It is kind of embarassing).

C, on the other hand, (because of the fear of exposing herself) had much more difficulty. She nearly tumbled down the slope, if not for YX (yes, she proved herself to be a worthy partner in crime).

By the way, C also recommends to anyone who would listen, that climbing over while wearing a skirt will yield unfavourable consequences. Thank goodness the school was deserted and C wasn't facing the road. -.-

---

Ooh my dad is back! : D And he got me socks. From Thailand. 0.o

Contemplative post ahead! (Yes, Sherry, I am capable of THINKING!)

Long time no blog, but then again, there's nothing much to update! Maybe I might just photoblog about the March hols some day.

If I could relive the hols again, I would stay at home and mug my ass off. Today, I decided that my mugging regime shall officially kick off. So I went home and thought: Okay! I shall rest for an hour first! Then, I started reading some book.

3 hours zoomed by. -__-

My mugging regime ended before it even started.

But I impressed myself because I actually managed to stay still and translate graphs for the next 3 hours and a bit of chem (yes, I took 3 hours to draw stupid graphs ok, stop laughing). So when I stood up, my bones cracked.

However, nothing could be struck off on my to-do list which I made a couple days ago. The to-do list is longer then my econs essay thanks very much.

---

After reading the Straits Times Saturday article on the varsity squeeze my mum chucked at my face (you see, I only read Life! and Sunday Times), I got all panicked and freaked out.

I realised there's only less than 2 more years til I graduate and actually have to decide what I want to do. And if I want to get into whatever profession/uni course I want, I would have to start planning now, wouldn't I? But it didn't help that I had no idea what the hell I wanted to do at all. Except that I was thinking about going into law for a few years already, but it's just a big maybe. And what happens if you don't like the path that you take? Career switch in your 30s? 0.o omgg.

Plus, the article says you probably need internships, CIP, leadership and grades to get ahead.

HAHA LIKE WTH I THINK I FALL UNDER THE CATEGORY OF NONE OF THE ABOVE?!

Sometimes I feel like dropping out of school! ): The higher you go, you higher you have to settle for. Sucks, really.

So feeling rather down in the dumps, Yuxuan, Claire, Zhiying and I went to have lunch after school today. Pingfang joined us later, being all high and hyperactive.

The first thing she said, "I GOT MY FUTURE ALL PLANNED OUT!"

My little beacon of light vanished. But then, we did manage to sort out my distress and I felt that I acheived self actualisation. haha whatever, I sound like I'm writing some self-help book.

PS BTW if my legal aspirations ever fall through (or if I ever strike it rich), I decided I shall bring Munchin' Mamas to a new height by setting up a cafe (with Yuxuan, she promised she would be a major shareholder hahaha) called, THE MUNCHIN' MAMAS CAFE. : D So all you mamas out there, lend me your support if that day ever comes eh?

Oh and Zhiying, you are welcome to help out in THE MUNCHIN' MAMAS CAFE if your newsreading career doesn't work out!

colinchng@yahoo.com : How's your holiday?

___crystaaal* says: boring, cos you are not here!

colinchng@yahoo.com: You are such a good liar...

colinchng@yahoo.com: ... but I LIKE IT.

-___- ''

Yes, my dad finally succeeded in adding me on msn. No, he hasn't learnt how to change his nickname yet.

-------------------

Initially, it was a Jasmine and Peiting date. People count: 2

The three of us were supposed to go out a very long long time ago, but I couldn't make it because of my grandfather's funeral. So, since Jasmine and Peiting had something on together in the morning, they decided to call me along for a shopping trip after that. People count: 3

We decided to call Yunting along since 4 is such a nice number! People count: 4

Zhiying told me she wanted to go shopping the day before. Out of kindness and generosity, I asked her to come along! People count: 5

Zhiying invited Claire cos Claire wanted to shop for t-shirts. People count: 6

Somehow or another, Charlene and Zhixian came along. People count: 8

Pingfang's appointment in the morning got cancelled, so she came too! Hence, Total number of people present for shopping trip: 9

So, from 2 people, the shopping duo grew into more of a ... tour group. It felt more of a MunchinMama/408 gathering then a small group of friends shopping together! Cool, right.

A few months back while shopping with Jiahui and Huiwen... (rather, they shopped while I miserably tagged along)

Me: EH I'M TIRED. Let's sit down!! (grumbles incoherently) My feet hurt. (whine whine whine)I hate shopping!! (grumbles somemore)

Jiahui: (in an extremely chagrined tone) ARE YOU A GIRL OR NOT?! COME, WE HELP YOU SHOP!

So the both of them pulled me into some shop where I grumbled somemore.

I didn't even expect to get anything but in the end, 2 pairs of shoes, 3 pairs of earrings and a dress was about as much as it could get.

So, armed with all my purchases, I felt extremely guilty while I trudged back home. (eh but I think I got quite good deals. The shoes/dress/earrings were pretty cheap! At least, I hope to think so) Hence, when I heard the sounds of keys outside the door, I decided to hide all my newly bought stuff! I ran into my room and quickly hid everything But no, while stuffing all the stuff into my wardrobe, I left all the stupid receipts on the dining table and I forgot all about it.

CIA mission gone wrong ):

Hmm, but now that I got earrings, shoes and dresses, I need t-shirts. Another shopping trip anyone?

PS When I get hold of all the pictures, I shall post them on my blog. The pictures on KPF's blog do not depict how people really look. She just loves to put unglam shots of people on her blog?!

PPS Thanks Yuxuan for you birthday present! Even though I have yet to see it. My first birthday present in the year!! : D

Yes, everyone else told me I would get my presents soon. LOL I look forward to the day haha

I am the queen of excuses.

Me: Mummy, I'm going over to QY's house on Tuesday.

Mum: For what?? Why you keep on going out?! You're not going to go out unless you pack your room.

Me: But we're not going to town so not considered "going out"! OH OKAY! So if I pack my room now I can go out for the rest of the week? Ok set-

Mum: NO more going out after tomorrow! You are not going out on Wednesday.

Me: HUHHHH. But I have no clothes! You said it yourself and now you don't let me go out?! Canoooooot!! I need to buy a shirt!

Mum: It's raining. Go close the window.

Me: If you let me go out on Thursday, I'll close the window. (yes at this point in time my asshole of a brother ran to close the window before me on purpose)

Mum: THURSDAY ALSO?!

Me: Yes, I got AK ALUMNI MEETING! Not my fault! I don't want to go also! ):

Me: Oh and uh. I have a class event on Friday. Everyone will be going.

Mum: !@#$%^&*( FRIDAY? YOU GO OUT WHOLE WEEK NO NEED STUDY IS IT.

Me: I studied today! We were in the clubhouse studying! SERIOUSLY!

Mum: (her face was even blacker than the sky outside)

OOPS. So I guess if I have to cancel any one of your appointments it's really not my fault. That's just because it's my mum's goal in life to keep me locked up at home during the holidays.

My dad has been gone for a week, so there's 2 more weeks left until he comes back! Then, he'll stay for a week and be gone again for 3 weeks. Oh well.

Meanwhile, to save on phonebills, I'm trying to teach him how to use msn.

For some reason, he doesn't appear online on my msn contact list. So I emailed him:

I am on msn every night! at around 8 to 11. But I don't see you online at all. Try adding me on msn again, chng_crystal@hotmail.com. I don't use yahoo messenger by the way.

And he replied:

Sweetheart is there an underscore between chng and crystal?

-_________- ''

At this rate, he'll probably be back before he actually succeeds in adding me on msn. I shall let you guys know once he adds me online!

peiting SUSHI BUFFET TMR (: says:
i'll crush you if i'm a guy! serious!

peiting SUSHI BUFFET TMR (: says:
i'll stalk you and buy 999 roses for you

peiting SUSHI BUFFET TMR (: says:
and i'll bring my guitar and serenade you

hahahaha aw Peiting you make my day! Sushi Buffet tomorrow and gathering with my ex class! :D can't wait!

Tomorrow will be the first ever time I will ever attempt to write my econs essay. When will it be? During the econs lecture test. I'll probably be there sweating it out in my seat -.-

Eric H. is the <33333, totally!

crystaaal* says:
scully aft tht u write so much, den i have nothing on my paper!!

crystaaal* says:
oh no!

claire it just takes some time. says:
no lorx, I always confused like that pokemon, the yellow duck.

hahahah I laughed out loud when I read her reply. What's the pokemon's name anyway? Psyduck? 0.o

UPDATE: MUNCHIN' MAMAS BLOG UPDATED 2ND MARCH 2008: RI'S POPCAFE!

After school, met up with Yuxuan and Peiting before BLYC camp started. While Peiting did her socialising, Yuxuan and I popped to RI's PopCafe (pun intended hahaha) Peiting decided joined us later when she realised we disappeared 10 years later.

On the way to RI,

YX: Eh Chng, do you think I'm shameless for wearing an orange bra?
Me: (checks out her bright neon bra) Yes.
YX: Aiyar, no wonder all the guys talk to me extra long today!

Photowhored with the 2 losers at Popcafe. I think all the RI dudes probably thought we were really lame or something. This little Munchin Mama gathering shall be documented on the blog soon! (PEITING! UPLOAD PHOTOS SO WE CAN BLOG! : D )

BLYC camp was exhausting, just like all other camps, because I can only sleep in my own bed. Ailin, Charlene, Yuxuan, Peiting and I ended up sleeping in the corridor (we actually intended to sleep in the stars outside on the rooftop. Lucky we didn't, because it rained halfway through the night so I was freezing outside in my sleeping bag. Everyone who walked past thought we were freaking weird sleeping in the corridors, but well, you live only once, so do crazy things!

So do crazy things we did, or at least, Charlene and I did. We are hereby named the Rooftop Rendezvous Duo! I'm too lazy to do a blow by blow account of our little escapade to the rooftop like Totally Spies, so below's an excerpt of her blog, with comments by me in red : D

" but best was sleeping and being part of Rooftop Rendevous with chng! haha she's damn funny (hahahah i know!) and super blonde (How dare you call me blonde!) i love her (aw, but since you love me, I forgive you!)!

...and rooftop rendevous was hilarious! haha i love u chng for being so freaking fun and playing with me! (Yep, seeing that I'm the only one who's willing to play with you) first time, she climbed over to the roof and then seniors came so i made her jump down and hide while i pretended to talk on the phone while scolding her something like: "aiya, why are u so dumb? (pause) what were you thinking la!" while she squatted down there and laughed like mad.

Let me elaborate. After I clambered over, I was on some metal board things, because I didn't want to jump down yet. But out of the corner of my eyes, I saw people approaching!!

Me: OMGOMG? CAN I CLIMB BACK? THEY ARE COMING ALREADY, HOW?!?!
CHAR: GO, GO! JUMP!

and being the dumb blonde that I am, I listened to another fellow dumb blonde AND I JUMPED. Then, I kena stuck down there for dunnoe how long. I had to listen to Charlene laugh at me while she verbal assaulted me when she was pretending to be on the phone.

then we decided to do the leap years wish thing so we went back to write our wishes! and we climber over the railing onto the roof. haha ok she climbed. i rolled onto the roof seeing that i couldn't climb at all. and then while running towards chng, i slipped and fell. AND THAT STUPID GIRL JUST SAT THERE AND LAUGHED. stoopid pig. (hahahah I'M SORRY! BUT IT WAS FREAKING FUNNY! I hope you ass is still as shapely as ever though. ) haha and we have to idea why we were being so freaking secretive about climbing onto the roof (haha i think because council was choosing nominees in the room next door. and im damn scared they will hate me because i climed onto the roof ): ) when an entire group climbed over to talk. LOL.haha so we ran and threw our wishes down. and laughed like mad because our aeroplanes were such loser things they barely flew 5 cm before they just dropped down. HAHAHA. To think I'm a physics student?! ): "